Patient: It will be one year tomorrow since we moved here from up North. So many changes...but we still think it was a good decision. Me: Really? That is nice. Does the rest of your family still leave up there? Patient: Yes, it is the reason why we moved here. Our only son and I… Continue reading He won’t text me back….
Me: So it has been 2 weeks since we made the medication changes. How do you feel? Patient: I feel better, but still getting chest pain. I am hoping it is acid reflux. Do you guys still want me to be on medical leave? Me: I am afraid that we cannot send you back to… Continue reading Security!
Me: You are here for your 6 month follow up. How have you been feeling? Patient: I've been better. I just found out I have an aneurysm last week. Me: Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that. Where is the aneurysm and the size? What diagnostic center did you get scanned? We will… Continue reading Dr. Google gets all the consults!!!
Patient: I hope you don't mind. We brought our yorkie(yorkie sitting in a dog carriage). He is really like a baby to us. Me: Well he is cute. However, we had some complaints in the waiting room. Your "baby" was accused of nipping at a medical assistant and barking at passerbys. Patient's husband: I know,… Continue reading The dog knows….
Me: Congratulations! Your lab results have improved! Elderly male Patient: Thanks, I have made a point to eat at home more often. Cooking was never my forte though. Me: Tell me about your living situation. Do you live alone? Patient: (with smirk on his face) Yes, are you offering to let me live with you?… Continue reading Let me take you dancing….
Me: So I will send over your prescriptions now. Do you have any other questions? Patient: So you are like a training MD? What do I call you? Blair: Blair, No I am a nurse practitioner. It is a RN that has an advanced degree to perform procedures, diagnosis, treat, set a plan of care… Continue reading You are a What?
Me: So your stress test is abnormal. I recommend a cardiac cath for definitive diagnosis. Have you ever seen a cardiologist before? Patient (who is a 60+ white male): Naw, my doctor home said I was fine but that was years ago. Me: We can request the records. Where is home? Patient: (starts rapping like… Continue reading New York Rap Battle
Me: (walks into exam room) Good morning Patient: (embarrassed) Oh!!! Um oh no! Me: Are you ok? What's wrong? Patient: I did not expect you to come in so soon. I just farted really bad. Could you... Me: (walking out room) Say no more. Smell it, for your health? A few years ago (2013-2014ish) several… Continue reading Run! Save yourself!
Me: Tell me what brings you here. Patient: My heart! It keeps on racing! The last three days it has been like a Hummingbird. I cannot even catch my breath. Me: Okay we will do an EKG. Have you done anything different? Patient: No, it reminds me of when I did...well you know the 80's… Continue reading Cardiac Confessions